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So we decided to cover them completely with white paint because the disc was Silence in the Snow. I remember mentioning to Jim Rosenberg that maybe we could make these guitars with a different paint job. So we kept it secret, but at the same time we also recorded the new album with them. Then we took the white touring guitars so we could say that we took the guitar out of its bag before time. The body has black and white layered edges, as well as the "trimmed ear" head. An easily accessible 9V battery compartment can be found on the back of the guitar. Both 6 and 7 string models include a premium bag case and a Certificate of Authenticity. We also played the songs on the soundcheck and asked them what they thought. So there were people who could hear things about 8 or 9 months ago when I was still in a rough form. We knew then that we were in something good. "Heafy said that over the years, Trivium has thrived by providing band members with an open environment where anyone can contribute to the arrangements. We will release an album and immediately start working on the next one. Not because we think we need to do it. But because we feel inspired. We do it very well when we are feeling it. We do not have an established formula for the way we write or have any group of people doing things for us. We said on entering this record that this has to be the best Trivium record ever made, but what is the case? We can even survive if we do not make the best record we have ever made. It's like a summary of albums one through seven on a single album. Yes, I wrote the music, but @Starofash actually came up with the title? For now we have no data on its distribution in Mexico or on prices, but it is most likely that those interested in acquiring it have to order directly with the Epiphone distributor in their city. Even back then, boredom was one of my biggest fears. Of course, it did not meet any of that and most of the trip was restless. "March 17 - Part 2 Flight team. When one travels around the world, sometimes one needs to force oneself to sleep, so that one is prepared to move regardless of the time change. My greatest advice for a long trip: as soon as you feel, you are already in the time zone of the 'place where you are going.' Do not think about the time when you were hardly there. Adjust yourself immediately. "March 18 Truck stops and bed and breakfasts. After a direct flight to Frankfurt, it is a three and a half hour road trip to the small town of Ratingen. After a long flight, the first requirement is a real meal; In Germany, they have truck stops with pretty decent food. We arrived at the Marché for some röstis and other things for breakfast, and our crew began to drink some giant Hefeweizens. Our favorite thing to do on this Earth is to enjoy the local food and drinks of every country and culture in which we find ourselves. Ratinger Brauhaus is our usual lair when we are in pre-production. We were the whole band, the crew, and some of our friends from town for our banquet. "March 19 Practice makes perfect. This is where the complete set is made, where you make sure that all your equipment and stage work, and where you eliminate any problems you might be having with your performance. We take pride in our live performance; We do not trust backing tracks or other 'traps' that have become so common. It is nothing else to touch by touching; they are specific exercises where I know I need to strengthen at that moment. Apart from individual practice, we always practice as a unit. That day we stayed with food ordered mainly. Architecture is not something we see a lot in the United States, so it was a welcome treat. Delicious. "March 22 Portsmouth, Pyramids. We found a restaurant in the fort called The Courtyard. Breakfast there was the best of the whole tour. We have played a lot in this club; I always remember her small and loaded dressing room on top of a staircase. It was great to be able to train both styles. In Europe, truck drivers have it easier and better than American drivers. Every seven days or so, they have a break of 45 hours. On this tour, the average trip is one to three hours, and our driver would have a 90-hour break in two weeks of driving. Several of us drank English ale from the pub and ate local meat. The back mount is when you or your opponent 'has the other's back'. This is having a person tied to you like a backpack, while you are on the ground. The person with the mount has his heels buried in the thighs of the opponent, and form a control of the arm on the upper part of his body. You have to catch your opponent's forearm, push it and decrease the attacker's chance to strangle you. The place was very good, the city was beautiful, and the crowd was immense. By the end of the tour, Lincoln was the second best show on the entire tour. It blew our mind, because Leicester was another city we had not been to. Everything about the audience, the energy - it goes beyond words. The southern food of India has more of the local tropical flavors; I almost had a taste of Thai curry in Indian curry. Much of the coconut flavor was prevalent. It was everything I expected: tiered plates of food, and a sense of distinguished delicacy. The juxtaposition of the two metal types holding small cupcakes and cups was an exclamation point on the day of all the customers in the tea shop. The food and drink were great. "March 29 York, Barbican. During my first two and a half years of training, I had mostly been taught attacks on the upper body. I remember that on stage I felt like they had stabbed my knee. The show was amazing, but this club felt like the kind of club I've played countless times in Detroit, Michigan. Dirty, trash everywhere, no shower, and when we asked for a trash can what they did was tie a garbage bag to the door handle. Despite that, the venue was good for the audience, and the show was amazing. Today we are in a theater next to the beach that seemed to be more typically home of bizarre imitators of classic bands. This current tour had the highest level of energy we have seen from an audience, and I know they felt the same about us. Trivium is reinvigorated by the love of the United Kingdom, and as we stated at the beginning, we are in this for the good. It is very good to talk with you again, Matt. Tell me about the stage, how the show is evolving, and how the shows have been. Once we had that, we made the stage look like a giant Skull-castle in an arctic realm - very metal. The shows have been incredible; Around the world, new and old Trivium fans are incredibly passionate about new music. When we hit the nail on the head with this, I tested my signature models on multiple world tours. After having surpassed all the tours perfectly, I knew that the next test would be the study. My 7-string models were used in all the seven-string material in Silence. The 6-string material was recorded with my Gibson, which was a model for the Epiphone. My plans for album 8 are to record the entire album strictly with my signature guitars. Just check "Dead and Gone" to hear the dirty pure heaviness coming from that instrument. A large number of artists who are in the recurring cycle of composition, recording and tours, talk about how difficult it can be to make the process look new and fresh. In other words, was the album something they had been planning or was inspired? With Trivium, we have always tried to do something different from the previous album. At the beginning of our career, we found that at any moment we could have a drastic change in something that might have sounded or a familiar resemblance to the past. I think the best bands over time are those that push beyond their comfort levels to never launch exactly the same every time. With Silence, we wanted to be ourselves totally immersed in the classical roots of metal. We were already fans of these bands, but we immersed ourselves even more in these legends to find inspiration for the seventh album. It seems that the Trivium audience extends to all ages and backgrounds. It also seems that the so-called "heavy metal" or heavy rock - although perhaps not the mainstream, has a different audience than ten years ago. A Trivium fan is a difficult thing to determine, since our band has always been very vocal to be "for everyone". Our band is metal, yes, but it comes from so many subgenres of metal and many genres outside of metal. Our fans have oscillated between the ages of 5-6 to rockers over 70. Everyone is welcome to a Trivium show, and everyone seems to find their way. Fortunately with Trivium, we do not stick to rigid formulas about the creative process. Some pieces have been around for a while. We have become very intensive in self-demos, and very loose and with a draft style for the pieces. Both have their time and place, and advantages disadvantages. For example, some songs that work in the context of an album might be difficult to replicate on stage, either because of a production style or because of their character. I used to think that A # was the absolute maximum of my range, and that song is placed there for most of the main part. Fortunately, due to my extensive training, it is very easy now - but that was undoubtedly an issue that was stuck in my head and scared me a bit before doing so much live. Silence's music works so well live, it's as if the material was built to be played in clubs of any size or at a festival. We have played in clubs with a capacity of 350 people and festivals with 50,000 people. At both ends and everything else, it works perfectly. However, once the time comes to be on the tour, we make sure that as a unit we have rehearsed well and we are as good as we can. We have a catalog of songs ready, so if we want to change things, we can do it. We pride ourselves on being a great live band, that we do not depend on backing tracks or supporting musicians, everything they see and hear is performed by the four people on stage. Black Metal has been a love to me for a long time. I have incorporated very few subtle elements of the genre here and there in Trivium successfully, but it would never make sense to have it completely in Trivium. Ihsahn has become a good friend of mine, and is someone I look at as a mentor. We both have plans to make this album together, but it's absolutely a matter of time. Our schedules are quite intense at the moment, but it's going to happen one day. I do not see it as something "removed" from Trivium, since Trivium will always be my main focus. Mrityu will be a project for me. Returning to when we first met, you had just come out of your first acoustic concerts. I love the simplified nature of a singer, a guitar. It is as intimate as it looks; a true look in the soul of an artist. I hope to do more of this, but like Mrityu, it's a matter of time. Thank you for this talk and congratulations on the launch of your signature models. Needless to say, I was absolutely surprised. Something very important for me when we were thinking about my signature model, was the creation of an instrument not only to meet my needs on stage and in the studio but also at a price accessible to the public, for those who appreciate the music I make. The fact that Epiphone agreed to this difficult task, made everything that has surrounded the project incredible. With Epiphone we have created the perfect instrument and finally we have it available. You mentioned in some interviews that the saxophone was your first instrument, how was the transition to the guitar? Initially I started with the guitar as at 11 years old. For all the boys, taking a guitar is part of that passage in our lives where we want to be cool. My father always played the guitar, so in a way I wanted to emulate him in his skill as a well-versed guitarist. And little by little I reached it, rehearsing a lot and practicing with my first band, a pop-punk group. Living in Orlando and not being very exposed to what metal was, pop-punk and ska was all that surrounded my musical knowledge. My 'skills' could not be considered as a real talent and I could not join a band. That Metallica album was my first immersion in metal, and from that first experience I knew it was the kind of music for me. So the regime went from 1 to 6-8 hours per day. I would lock myself in my room and practice, try to learn as much music as I could. For guitarists who are not familiar with a seven-string instrument, how did you get to it? As a guitarist we always look for sources of inspiration to enhance our new sounds, rhythms or what we feel; sometimes that element can be a small detail, a new tactic or in others an extra string. And when we started the rehearsals I realized that I was writing music like never before and I found new ways to explore and face music. Without having completed all the six-string options, I definitely felt that it was time for a change. By the time of 'Shogun', the boys in the band had become accustomed to the seventh string. It is not for everyone, but it can work for those who want to find new dimensions in sound and playing. Everything you have heard or seen in another musician or instrument you can do. Everything that has been done can be repeated with practice and a correct work ethic. One of the things that I consider most important is to have a special place to practice, a place where nobody bothers you and where you can constantly challenge yourself. Obviously if you are just practicing and it is something informal, you can play anywhere, on the couch, watching TV or anywhere. But if you want to improve your level and take it seriously, the keyword is discipline. That special place of practice it will allow you to hear every note you play, to get away from distractions, to have a suitable sitting or standing posture and to do everything calmly and with a metronome. And with all exercises, riffs or songs, involve the metronome. Work your music in a slow time and work on increasing little by little until you have the speed at which you feel comfortable. The guitar is like practicing any sport, you have to trace goals, create a plan to improve and gradually strengthen the many aspects of what it means to play guitar. And it must be completed with what you feel as a musician. When you sit down with a six or seven string guitar, you create riffs and music in a different way. When you have a seven-string guitar you know that you are facing playing in a more technical way. Once you understand it, it's natural. We imagine that you will be taking your new custom guitars to the studio. Both will be with me in Austin where we will be working on the sixth Trivium album. For these sessions we have been writing for more than a year and we have reviewed between 25 and 30 songs and we will decide on the best 15-18 of them. And those songs I've been hearing constantly in the gym or when I'm driving, trying to keep the music in my head. When you have 25-30 songs to choose a group of 15-18 for the next album there is constant work in what has to do with music. We are very demanding among ourselves, trying to make the best songs for our albums, this means that we constantly re-write and review the material until we consider it ready. Typically these days 1 of the 3 guitarists create the majority, then we complete the song with Apple Logic in the form of a demo to present them to the group. From there if there are no changes we start working on the right demo. The process of arranging the band varies from song to song, but we definitely spend time writing. We have been working on songs, from one to seven days a week while we were on the tour last year. With each album I feel that the composition of songs is improving. And I think that has to do with the constant practice on the guitar. The more practices, the more songs you write, the better you are at the moment of doing it. Not all guitarists are composers and not everyone who knows the technique of shredder or with classical training can write a song. What I have learned with the composition is that the worst moment to write is when you have the clear goal of writing a song. My best material for this album, and perhaps the best of all the previous albums, has arisen when I'm rehearsing or practicing, with a riff that comes from any moment. In the band, we are aware that we will only write what we are capable of playing and singing live. We do not use tricks, pre-recorded things, accompanying musicians or other live aids. Everything we do in the studio we do live and it must be done by the four Trivium musicians on stage. For those who are at home I want to tell you that when you play at home and if you do demos you do not need a lot of processors, amplifiers, you need a simple set. If you work to improve you have to practice and practice that allows you to really hear what you are playing, without masks, as it comes out of your guitar. You always want to hear what the guitarists are playing, not what their distortion produces. If you are in a studio and that demo depends on whether they sign you or if you are in a band with a contract, then use as much equipment as you have available. If you have access to original Peavey 5150 and 5150 amplifiers, with an equalization that you have studied. And for greater security, never upload everything up to 10 or 11. I think that the fewer elements in my hands and the ears of the audience is much better. Earlier this year you had an acoustic show for the first time tell us about that experience... Incredible, it was a very interesting feeling because I felt great nervousness before the first and second show. I never get nervous with the Trivium shows, after doing many, but with the acoustics it's different. I think I felt like at the beginning and fortunately everything went very well. These presentations were made for charity events. Well, today we have more information about it. The discs of Trivium have sold more than one million copies worldwide. Take a look at a Trivium show and you will see why. Each guitar has 7 beautiful black and white binding layers on the top and 5 on the head. The tuning fork has a simple blank link. That is the same guitar with which I recorded most of the Trivium albums. An optional box is available on both models. Matt Heafy did not wait for anyone's permission to change the world. You can watch both guitars at your authorized Epiphone dealer. Contact your authorized Epiphone retailer for details. The estimated price in US dollars is $ 699 for the six-string, while the seven-string price will cost $ 799. As soon as we have more information we will let you know; we only ask you to be attentive to our publications. Please, go and buy what you like from my list - keep the music alive. It's crazy to think about how small Sweden is as a country and how big an influence it has on metal.
Ten years of revolutionary militancy Anejos I do not have a mother or a wife who comes to mourn in my coffin. There are three reasons why the result of this reworking is offered to the reader as an entirely new and separate work from the previous one. Consult archival documents. Although I have done it in a limited way, this has been a much broader question. I have worked on my personal file and I have enjoyed being able to consult a collection of borrowed materials. Compare my memories with other people's. Take into account public domain data as they can be consulted in various sources, which also help to better outline the backdrop in which the remembered events took place -recorrecting them at times. On the other hand, the attached texts also contribute to give an original character to this new essay. Most of the Schedules are now published for the first time. But an electronically published book does not end. For the moment I have abandoned that plan. My second motive is to have realized that the prudentially advisable time has not yet elapsed for me to allow myself to shed, without self-censorship, details of recent times. If I have waited almost forty years to reveal details of clandestine political activity, it might be wise to also wait a few more years before telling the facts of my later academic life. My third reason is that the task of writing a memoir of the period 1972-2010 would require a dedication of time and effort that at the moment I do not think advisable to consecrate. They are the events of my life between the date of my birth and that in which I abandoned the revolutionary struggle. Throughout the last twelve months I have been able to gather some reactions to my work, receiving useful comments that I appreciate. In this new book I have suppressed the Preamble of 2009, which in turn referred to a preceding autobiographical essay and a bibliography - already published or in the process of being elaborated - on related topics. I tend to think that any past time was worse. Louis Althusser said that neither the knowledge of history is historical nor that of sweet sugar. I leave here the theme of historicity. What interests me is whether the remembrance of events whose presence would normally elicit certain emotions is also loaded with those same emotions. I do not think so, because a distance is interposed. To achieve a degree of objectivity, we need that unfolding of the self that Remember in the self that was and the self that is. On the other hand, human beings have the capacity to recycle their memories, no matter how painful the remembered material is, carving with them a rational self-construction considered with calmness and consideration. My purpose here is none of those that I have just listed. In particular, it is not that of an adjustment of accounts. One is that too much time has passed for that. And, although distance is not forgetting, it does cushion and relativize. The other reason is that my assessment of that militancy is nuanced positively. What I propose is to contribute to preserving a spiritual patrimony: the collective memory, the knowledge of what was, constantly threatened by the unrecoverable loss of information that the passage of time brings. Preserving memory is, of course, part of what one has to do to make sense of one's own life. To have that awareness and those plans of life, you have to have an idea of your own past. The amnesiac, the forgetful, also loses its ability to project into the future. The idea of the past itself can be complacent or afflicted, nostalgic or, conversely, satisfied that such events have been left behind and well behind. But our own self-construction as people is broken if we want to forget the past. The same happens with human collectives. The contribution I make here to the reconstruction or recovery of the collective memory of the Spanish people is made from the individual testimony of a former communist militant. At this point, you have to make an entry. Any human activity involves the use of intelligence and the application of ingenuity and spirit. Today this locution has fallen into disrepute, "an intellectual", perhaps because of an abuse of it, or because of an accumulation of connotations. On the contrary, such evocations do not reject them. And, so reject them, the very foundation to claim the privileges of the intellect and the honor that the society in which we live has given us the opportunity to devote ourselves to cultivate it and to promote its collective cultivation would persist. Besides being an intellectual, the author of this work is an ex-militant communist intellectual. When writing the memoirs of his militant era, a long tradition also continues. There have been legions of ex-communist militants who have related their passage through the ranks of the proletarian revolution. Many, perhaps most, with disappointment; often with spite when not in anger. And I do not mention Jesus Hernandez. I ask for indulgence for the omissions. There are three particularities of my career and my position. Second, I am still a communist, though not a Marxist. It was a stubbornness to maintain that model at the height of the 60s. That quixotic illusion revealed a deficient perception of the historical evolution and the surrounding reality. If my memory of that childhood and youth is not bitter, the content was. My childhood passed in a hard time. First I suffered the consequences of my parents' sufferings for the repression - and even for the very existence - of the regime, although they tried to preserve their children from any harmful effect and to silence all that. Later, it began for me - when adolescence arrived - a time of sorrow and even despair. On the other hand, I suffered from bullying, hooliganism, the systematic violence of the children of the Institute. Those years of my adolescence were oppression and suffocation. I never dared to talk to my colleagues. I still think today that twentieth century communism was a movement with important virtues, globally positive for human history; but it also had serious defects. Without them, a humanist movement, like communism, was transformed into something dehumanized. Many splits, many enmities, would have been avoided with a few doses of those values conventionally associated with the feminine. The fight would have been more bearable and, ultimately, the organization would have been stronger and more effective. At this point I do believe that my testimony can be a guide. Not because today a fight is similar to the one in which I participated. Maximizing short-term effectiveness will lead to selecting values that serve the expeditious. The desire for results today is usually presented with other modalities, such as those of the technocratic and gestural accounting culture. It is necessary to temper that desire for acquisitions with a warm spirit of human understanding, with the values of delicacy, softness and restraint. On the contrary, I remember my comrades as courageous, intelligent and self-denying women and men. Those who have survived can be consulted. I submit my memories and my testimony to theirs. My current essay wants to be an exercise in microhistory. Routine facts are our daily meals, working in an office, living in a house. The difference between one and the other is irrelevant here. All these facts constitute daily life. And they are more real than the sudden occurrences. It is true that our lives are at the mercy of the events or blows of Fortune. For Nicolai Hartmann it is that which marks the hardness of the real entity. A biography is the study of an individual life. This study is true insofar as it reflects that life in its flow, in its continuous course. To look only at specific events, at events, is to make a bad biography. This shift leads to insist less on quantitative history, but not for that reason renounce the ideals of the School. We continue looking for the deep life, the flow of the long duration. Only now it is going to relativize that long duration according to modules. That objection, however, emanates from an exaggerated suspicion. Any testimony can be subject to intersubjective controls, providing genuine knowledge. But can not the witness also carry out, in part, at least the 2nd, 3rd and 4th controls? No one can, of course, assess their own reliability or have an impartial judgment about their own qualities, their shortcomings and their subconscious motivations. To the extent that an autobiography follows these guidelines and, at least in part, manages to observe several of these canons, I believe that it can be considered a work of investigation. That is what the present essay aspires to. I feel a discrepancy with most historiographic schools: for me, the past has not completely passed; it is not a radically alien or external terrain. What happens once it always happens, to some extent, even if it is very small. In that case even two events A and B, the one located in the past of the other, could come to be considered simultaneous with each other. Hence, any moment of our past - or of our future - could be seen as present. It is not, however, that path that I follow to reach a conclusion perhaps similar. Being past is not a matter of everything or nothing. In relation to one occurrence, others are more or less passed as they are less or more future. Or, put another way, the before and the after are gradual. What happens to us now is prior to what will happen after our death. But it is an anteriority of degree, never total. Then those subsequent events are, to some extent, coeval with the current ones, with which they are happening right now. After the end, the finished does not cease to exist, although it continues to cease to exist forever. And, therefore, none of our lives went completely. That past can never be totally strange or alien to us because, to some degree, we still live in it, although that degree continues to fall steadily and inexorably. Summary Family history. Mother's side Family background. Mother side To my maternal grandparents I owe my passion for the monarchical, that I have to thank them. The age of the parties was more advanced than usual: the groom had just turned 31 and the bride was 26. The marriage will have a single offspring: my mother, born on October 5, 1911. Having been orphaned as a mother in her childhood, she had had to care for her eight siblings motherly. These experiences had marked some features of his strong temper. I will never meet my paternal grandparents. To my maternal grandfather a little, but he will die in 1950, when I am five years old. On the other hand I have a very strong and deep memory of my grandmother. He felt a pious devotion for the Virgin of the Pillar, to whose miraculous intercession he attributed having saved himself from many dangers. He did not practice frequent confession or communion, nor was it a daily Mass, although he was an assiduous novenas of Our Lady. Few times in his life he had to go to processions; As far as I know, he never attended the Easter Trades. They always felt a deep antipathy for greatness, whose insulting arrogance was counterpoised by the populace of D. Alfonso, for them the simple and accessible good king. Not being directed against such animosity rather than against greatness, and not against the aristocracy in general, the distinction was surely only a subterfuge on their part. Even today they are still the aristocrats who are prominent members of the oligarchy; undoubtedly the nobiliary conglomerate has been altered in its composition, but it has transmitted and preserved the collective memory of a differentiated social group. Such a scheme periclitated a long time ago. In order to provide useful services to scientific sociology, the theory of social classes needs to be completely reconfigured. And, within it, the nobility is a subclass not insignificant. But their presence-often hidden or unnoticed-would deserve much more attention than is usually given to them. The current sovereign has granted more than forty titles of nobility. Although it is an honorific distinction, the gift comes in handy for social promotion. In application of this precept, a ministerial order of September 23, 1936, separated from my grandfather's service -like many other officials of the Patrimony of the Republic. A procedure was then developed, whose art. 2 read like this: "Those who want to reintegrate should ask for it in a month by filling out the questionnaire that the administration will give to them." As far as I know, my grandfather did not request reintegration. And it was that the vehement suspicion that on him weighed of sympathizing with the rebels was fully based. In the unwavering fidelity of my grandparents to the dynasty, his whole circle of friends participated. On the other hand, the thing did not stop there. Except for the cessation of service, my grandfather suffered no other inconvenience during the war. He was granted the grace to remain in active service upon reaching the age of retirement, remaining in his post of ordinance of the, meanwhile, called «Palace of the East». He was from Madrid and spent his childhood and youth in the capital. The wealthy and wealthy classes began their summer holidays with tranquility and without anxiety, on the way to the Cantabrian Sea. Not even then did the mass of the population presage, not for a moment, that it was on the eve of a civil war. On the night of Friday, July 17, my mother was surprised to see that her husband did not arrive at the usual time of his work in the Ministry of the Interior. A phone call, hours later, would give him the explanation: the military had revolted in Spanish Morocco. Until Saturday, July 18 there would be no uprisings in the Peninsula. In March 1937, my mother was ordered to move to Valencia, the seat of the national government between November 1936 and October 1937. When the Government moved to Barcelona in the autumn of 1937, she was assigned there. There they underwent repeated bombings of the enemy aviation. My mother presented herself to the new authorities, being readmitted for the time being. Finally the instructor of the file elaborated a statement of charges. I could not vote for having arranged the government then not to do it those to whom it would correspond to vote for the first time ». And he adds that he is and was always fervently monarchical and that he only joined the communist party to survive. There she was welcomed by her co-workers, including one who was a firm Falangist but who was kind to that young woman who had gone astray. It was a working family, of peasant origin. My father prepared a Customs examination, which he should not have taken. In 1933 - already my mother's boyfriend and with 19 years of age - he opposed to the Ministry of the Interior, being approved with the number 3. He was thus official of the auxiliary body of civil administration of said Ministry from July 1, 1933 to 16 August 1939. Before 1936 my father was an apolitical man, although vaguely sympathetic to the republican left. At that time I do not think it was anticlerical, as it was later. His whole family was Catholic-monarchical. Among his maternal relatives, the Wednesdays, the clergy abounded, but also among the Peñaranda there was a certain individual of whom I will speak later. Moreover, apparently my father had met my maternal grandfather in 1931. I wonder if the means of such knowledge was some ecclesiastical link, since in that clerical environment of his mother's family there could be links with my grandfather's devotee circle maternal. When the war began, my parents shared housing with my maternal grandparents in their apartment on Fernando el Católico Street. Luis de Pereda Ruiz, Falangist. To both he drove them-after having them asylum in his house-to a safe place. He fought in several of the most famous battles of the war, such as Brunete and Belchite - although I do not know the details of his military career. For one of those participations in combat he received an honorary reward. Fled to Madrid, he was arrested again. Presidios overflowed; not only had it not been resolved but the carceral disorganization had worsened. Many years after the civil war will continue living in Spain its aftermath. When he was placed on probation, my father was unemployed. He had been separated from the service on August 16, 1939, due to the expiration of the deadline to present a sworn statement required for his political-social purge. From that filtering file resulted non-readmission in the body. My home was a floor of the Avda. My first childhood was between Madrid and Alicante. That childhood period ends abruptly on July 6, 1950, the day my maternal grandfather was fatally run over. My grandfather died, his widow went to live in Alicante with my mother, my sister and me. That period, from August 1950 to February 1952, is the first stage of my conscious life. I think that in those months my personality was indelibly shaped with many of the features that have continued to this day. Nana Manur has a thousand costumes - with whom she plays for the boscajes. Tunics he wears in colors - and he never breaks his socks. It has necklaces of amber and pearls - which only cost to go pick them up. Their toys are the conch shells - and the scallops that bring the waves. They were readings loaded with meaning, relativizing of certainties, inspiring questions and concerns. Regarding the planting of my future animal militancy, I will also mention that at that time, when I was 6 or 7 years old, they took me to the first and last bullfight that I have attended in my life. The horror of that orgy of cruelty was enough to fix in an absolutely unbreakable way my position for all my life. My enemy to the bullfighting will take me to break friendly relations in the following years. However, the most striking thing for me was the warning that they did not speak Spanish. Retrospectively of that visit of the Yankee army I have left a deep impression. I will complete this remembrance of the first stage of my life mentioning some auditory memories, specifically referring to the songs that come to my mind from that period childish. My love of music will come later. What most happened on the radio were couplets and pasodobles, to which I have always been little amateur - or rather nothing. In another order, those of Antonio Machín, who already began to like me for his sweet and sentimental side, maybe ñoño. The songs of Juanita Reina and others like that I remember them but I never felt pleasure to hear them. Also from that time I am reminded of certain advertising synths, like that of the Okal envelope, the enemy of pain. For me the move was an occasion of relative misfortune. Madrid was already an inhospitable village, free of beauty and charm. The whole car was already invading it - and motorized traffic in general. I felt bad in that urban environment from the first day. From there I spent a year later to another neighborhood school, the Carmeille, where I prepared for admission to the baccalaureate. The first news that I remember hearing on the radio whose meaning I understand is the death of Jorge Negrete, announced on the night of December 5, 1953. A month later a first political commotion took place that affected me and I remember perfectly. When arriving at Fernando el Santo street, before the British embassy, the mounted police charged with harshness unexpectedly. The students, who had mobilized for an official slogan after all, were betrayed. The next day a new student demonstration, in which copies of the Arriba were burned and freedom of the press was demanded. It was a glimpse of the anti-regime student mobilization two years later. I have no fond memories of that teacher. I thus arrive at that hinge in the life of many kids of that time who was the age of 9 to 10 years. At that age finished primary school and began high school for the minority of Spaniards who began high school studies. Adolescent children who did not start high school vegetated in Primary for another year until they went to work. The arrival of technical advances My parents bought a television in 1956. And a very different film from that era that really struck me was the singular "Twelve men without mercy." The entrance of the television in my father's house was not an isolated event. In general it was a very pioneering home in the acquisition of domestic appliances, a long way ahead of families economically very much above us. Although this has never been a reason for the orientation of my studies, it could have been a factor of my inclination after historical materialism, which emphasized the role of the productive progress of humanity, whose substrate or core is the technical advance. That enthusiasm that I already felt in my adolescence due to the technical advance was linked to an idea of progress and the rejection of any pasadismo. The passion for high-rise buildings, yes. My fondness for high constructions led me to see it always very favorably, despite the fact that the whole area was immediately full of Americans. However, I did not like all the technical advances on the domestic level. The television, the motorcycle and the car soon, very soon, I understood that they caused more problems than they could solve. I also found the arrival of the motorcycle and the car to be deleterious. In summer - and part of autumn and spring - we traveled on the commuter train on Sundays to Cercedilla, getting up very early. I had a great time on these trips, of which I keep a memory full of nostalgia. On one of those trips we traveled to Segovia, where my aunt Juana still lived, in a house with a chicken pen. On that trip we visited the Alcázar de Segovia, which impressed me greatly. See those furniture, those belongings, those weapons, those fortifications was a stimulus to interest me even more in history thereafter. They constituted, for me, an obligation imposed by the paternal authority. Family excursions by train stopped. Later, With the car, trips to the San Juan reservoir and places like this came. My animosity to the automobile will remain for a lifetime, persisting now, almost half a century later. The orientation of my studies For those years from 1953 to 1957 the orientation of my future studies was outlined, and specifically in a couple of options. First I had to choose a language, doing it for German. The knowledge I acquired was few; I have never mastered that language. Not for that reason did I completely abandon French, because I studied it self-taught by my parents' books and listening to the radio. On the one hand, I am one of the Spanish intellectuals who have most come to assimilate that language to the point of thinking about it during a part of my life. Mathematics was very good for me and I used to get honors in them. In short: it was thoughtless to assume the image of myself projected by others, taking that hasty decision and without maturity. It's a shame to have to make decisions like this at 14 years old. Other facets of everyday life in those years The summer holidays we did not usually do together the whole family father-daughter. Then in 1959 we spent four a couple of weeks in La Coruña, with long hours on the surrounding beaches. During the years 1954 to 1958, my grandmother, my sister and I used to vacation in Alicante, staying in a boarding house. In the mornings, the Postiguet beach. And it is that in my parents' house there were very different cultural and vital practices than usual - at least from what I perceived as usual by my classmates. And when I reached that age, I stopped being a regular spectator. I liked the historical theme films, which were among the few that were allowed to minors. I also remember some of the Indian insurrection of 1857 against the British yoke -naturally viewed from the colonial angle, but that I looked from sympathy to the insurgents. In another order I was also impressed by the greatest show in the world. Radio and song In those years listening to the radio was one of the main pastimes; the quality of the radio broadcasts was infinitely higher than that of the current ones in Spain. They were also years of expansion of the Italian song. On the other hand I also loved - and I still like today - the folk song: the regional musical airs. The movie «The Last Cuplé», starring Sara, I could not see. I chose Lilian, whose voice seemed more feminine, sweet and musical. The books One of the consolations of my life -prematurely sad and sorrowful- was what the books offered. From my childhood I was a constant passionate reader, although of slow reading and with a relatively limited spectrum of interests. I was horrified in that book the story of the bullfights, I was already then - as I have been throughout my life - a radical enemy of bullfighting because this is one of the most monstrous cruelties of humanity. You could see the moral character of this lineage, from Felipe V to here. In those years he devoured all the books that contained historical and geographical knowledge; For example, I was a regular reader of the Bible -an old and new testament-, of which there were two copies in my parents' house. But, in that reminder of readings, I must also mention the hours that I spent reading the entries in the abbreviated Espasa Dictionary, in 3 volumes. My love of the encyclopedic comes from there, surely. The formation of several features of my personality The school is to teach. In primary schools and in the high school Institute that I attended, I acquired knowledge. It's not that they taught me very well, but something is something. On the other hand, values are not transmitted in educational centers, which are not for that, but in the family. In my family home they transmitted to me a series of traditional values. Those years of adolescence were decisive for the formation of several features of my personality. One of the ones that were shaping up at that time was my tendency towards practicality, or, if you like, my utilitarianism. In my father's home, on Guzmán el Bueno street, there was a roof where the sun rose in the morning. Other times we sunbathed there on Sunday morning. I was in charge of watering the plants every day in summer; the buckets of water took them from the kitchen, along a twenty-meter-high corridor. He also paid for them with coffee grounds. Since then my love for green tea began, which years later will connect with the Chinese influence. Another feature of my way of being that was formed at that time was my tendency to get up early. Also in those years, that way of being mine is developed that has been described as introverted. That trait of my personality will greatly affect my subsequent revolutionary militancy. It will be, on the one hand, an advantage to promote discretion and conduct clandestine work in the safest possible way - within the limited possibilities. So my parents did not give me many political confidences or tell me many details of their lives. That "minus one" will be my motto for life; another way to enunciate the minority one by one. To situate my political awakening in its background in 1956, I will return first to events a little earlier. My first quarter of the Institute had coincided with the first and last elections held under the Franco regime, voting for the municipal third of representatives of heads of families. What is not is that I heard in my house that it did not matter to vote because the composition of the municipal consistory was decided in advance; and I had the ingenuity to repeat it before some classmates. It was the last time I left the language. At 10 years old, you have to be more responsible. In this subject teachers were appointed directly by the Falange. The first year they put a lot of pressure on me to attend a home of the Youth Front on Saturday afternoons. I went a couple of times; I guess I had to be trained and sing the "face to the sun". They were not worth anything to continue the machaconeo. Theoretically, the first ones had to set an example, but it was the opposite and that confirmed my alignment. Each of those halves or centuries was divided into squads with their respective chief. Nothing of that rejection of the religious that characterized a good part of the Spanish progressive tradition. If they did not manage to make me go to the homes of the Youth Front, they did not get me to undergo spiritual exercises either. From that moment I closed in band, making me impervious to pressure. Here I will mention my religion teachers. Throughout my life my contact with priests, nuns or friars has been scarce; in that period he limited himself to my student relationship of those professors appointed by the bishopric. I do not remember the first one; neither fu nor fa. The reader will hardly realize to what extent that speech clashed with all the anti-republican propaganda. From that moment on, the memory I have of the priests is very bad. The one who had them did not get up. And he grumbled: "Very hard I see that there is nobody, I do not believe it!" For the rest he explained clearly and demanded. Then I got a big shot, the P. Valcárcel, erudite and uncompromising man but without the teaching ardor or the intellectual honesty of the previous one. The overall impression was negative. Neither I was then nor have I ever been after an anticlerical or anti-Catholic; quite the opposite. But, of course, with priests like the parents Luengo and Valcárcel I understand that there would be anticlericalism. The arrival of the Muslims in 711, after liberating us from the yoke of the Gothic kings, had raised a splendid caliphate. The very figure of Almanzor was well treated by a certain Francoist historiography. I just recorded everything in my memory, without understanding what was happening. New facts, new lines of demarcation. That same year I lived with interest the independence of Gana. The further achievements of development will not be due to this gang of inept techno-fanatics but to the dynamism of the Spanish people; and that development would have been much greater without that dismal Stabilization Plan. A book, of course, mediocre, that manages to conceal many of the main philosophical problems. In the first of those three problems, I connected with my intellectual flirtations from previous years. Faced with this hypothesis, that of a single being underlying everything was also very tempting. Perhaps I have never overcome that fluctuation, or that tension, between monism and dualism. In the second issue, that of free will, I opted for determinism. And with regard to the third problem, that of the relationship between the individual and society, I spoke for collectivism and egalitarianism. Then I did not yet know anything about Marxism, or dialectical materialism, but those options already predisposed me to welcome it later. Something later I read another book curiously belonging to my parents' scanty library, Hegel's little Logic, which produced a kind of philosophical conversion, marking forever some of my fundamental options. Of that Pre-University Course of 1959-60 I will remember several things. Under his guidance I had already begun in 1958 in Greek letters. The study of the Phaedo was another milestone in my philosophical orientation. Throughout various stages of my philosophical formation and after the development of my own thinking, Plato is going to be the author that in me has most influenced the background. Another class that is worth remembering was that of philosophy, although that year was monographically dedicated to a non-philosophical topic: the history of ecumenical councils. The whole subject of ecclesiastical history had interested me enormously for years. But to get into that now, to an open grave, was an immense intellectual experience, particularly stimulating in regard to the Christological controversies of the first centuries. With him I visited several churches where Catholic religious ceremonies were held but of oriental rite. The further evolution of my interests and my friends separated me from that. The years of ingenuity had passed. He had learned to be in a minority of one. I felt fully share the attitude insulted by Barea. I was so utterly horrified by his thought that the Antinietzschean enemy will accompany me all my life, and can be traced both in writings from the period of political militancy as well as later. Even more than the readings, the radio influenced me. The waves reverberated a lot in my brain. I had opted for philosophy and letters, discarding my first inclination for Law. At that time I was thinking about studying classical philology and in fact I was free to take the course of Indo-European linguistics taught by Adrados. Some of them are going to be decisive in my life. What attracted me the most was the reading of a pamphlet that contained the Soviet constitution of 1936 along with Stalin's speech submitting it to the approval of the constituent congress of the soviets of the Union; possibly an advance of my future interest in constitutional law. I resented those frivolities, which hindered my entry into his circle. I think I always got mixed up by my bookish inclinations and by an improper seriousness of my few years. Mine was realism; the fantastic-symbolic did not interest me. In other hobbies we agree more; among them the theater. Unfortunately the circumstances of my life have prevented me from frequenting it, but I have always liked it a lot. Another member of that group was Alejandro Llano, who I liked because of his seriousness. Many years later I evoked those memories with him; he had been a course delegate and he did not remember me at all; he has captured that remembrance in his book Odor a yerba seca. When the September of 1962 I had to choose. Two years before I would have had no doubt: my vocation was to be classical philology. But in the meantime I had fallen in love with philosophy. Anyway my love of philosophy was not a crush. That kind of Rosado was decisive for my choice. I was captivated by the discovery of those beautiful systems -especially that of Leibniz that is still my preferred paradigm today. So, when I went to enroll in September 1962, I did not hesitate, opting for philosophy. I did not attend all the exercises, but the professional and intellectual superiority of Sacristan was appreciated by anyone at once. I doubt that Sacristan would ever become a Marxist, although he wanted to be a Marxist. I return to the thread of my academic studies. It is difficult to imagine a more degraded teaching. It is not that Thomism was imposed, as they say. The following year the panorama improved, because at least J.L. Anyway, it transmitted the knowledge of the authors, since not a deepening in the subjects. Their complementary seminars also forced the student to work. The assault on reason has earned him terrible fame in certain circles for his alleged sectarianism. In reality what happens is that each one chooses against whom to be sectarian. Lukács takes irrationalism as its target, which I also consider an intellectual scourge and goes to the Marxist schemes of typecasting and explanation from the sociology of knowledge. It happened to Aranguren something similar to Rábade. He took classes seriously, he prepared them well, but many times the subject he dictated was detailed, without proposing problematizations with a sufficiently philosophical level of abstraction and generality. Attending his course he did not waste time, but he did not come out very enriched philosophically either. More valuable than the theoretical classes dictated by Aranguren was his seminary, a space of freedom in that obtuse Madrid where the gag of the regime prevailed. The seminar sessions were very heterogeneous; Many authors paraded through it. Aranguren was very interested in literature, for which we listened to a number of writers. Other exhibitions dealt with topics of sociology or ethics. María Rosa Madariaga gave a presentation on Spanish colonialist thought. Aranguren devoted some sessions of his seminar to literary questions. Anyway, for the reasons I will explain in the next chapter, since the fall of 1962 my life was only secondarily dedicated to academics. It is true that the people who spoke from the platform did not usually have more interest, but the cause was not that, but to get involved in the clandestine struggle. In that biennium of 1962-64 I read much less than in the previous one and what I read were mostly Marxist texts, which absorbed me to the detriment of my general theoretical training. Academically it was a nonexistent year. In the circle of young progressives to which I belonged in those years there prevailed a total and absolute rejection of scholastic philosophy, as well as, more generally, a very strong anti-traditionalism. My attitude was radically diverse. By opting for dialectical materialism, I will always be more dialectical than materialistic. The military strategy: guerrilla war? Reasons that, to be obvious, had to be based on their religious status. Then, he argued, he was illegitimately exercising the role of representative of the students, future graduates. Among the representatives who spoke eloquently in an accusatory sense against that priest was Jesus Mosterín, who was several courses ahead of me. The "totalitarian" should not be bad, because it was included in the legal regulations still in force, such as the Labor Law. The fact is that, hearing that phrase, the Dean shook the bell and pronounced bluntly: "The use of the word is removed." The Dean, hastily, adjourned the session. Luis Gómez Llorente was not unknown. Much more than those events I had been tremendously shocked by the murder of Patricio Lumumba on January 17. Since the proclamation of Congolese independence, on June 30 of the previous year, everything was going on with expectation. The day of the assassination I remember: reading the newspaper, I commented overwhelmed the tragic event to a companion, who told me that he was well employed because of how bad he had treated the missionaries. But, since then, I felt everything about the Congo as if it were vital and personally involved in it. And it's still true today, almost half a century later. Needless to say, I already followed with passion the subsequent events of African independence, especially the Algerian independence of July 3, 1962. Not everything that happened was equally real. Each one remembers more what, for him, had more reality. For Westerners what happened most in the second half of 1961 was the erection of the Berlin Wall on the night of August 12. Television of the Franco regime commented on the event with profusion and waste, in one of the first political gatherings that sought to exhibit a tone that was not exactly the script prefixed in the ministry of Arias Salgado. It could have been granted, as in Berlin, a period of several years for everyone to emigrate to the country of their preferences. Instead, what we suffered was the fierce tyranny of Francoist Occidentalism. For me it was clear: what the enemies of this regime and their allies do is fine. That's why Berlin did not have much reality for me. It was the first glimpse of my subsequent option for the Chinese position. I do not mention the anti-imperialist struggle in Vietnam because, although it was already burning at that moment, it will be later when it gains prominence. I go back to history, more modest, than what happened at the University of Madrid at the end of 1961. There was a group in the front yard, a quasi-demonstration sung in solidarity with our fellow prisoner. That is how the student struggles of the 1960s started. There was a cordial camaraderie among us, if not exactly friendship. The names and addresses of many I do not remember. We meet at the home of some of us; eg The environment was very pro-Cuban. We also listened enthusiastically to the songs of the Cuban revolution. The demonstrations continued in the following days and arrests were made. For the Faculty of Policies there were several representatives who succeeded each other. The first was Rodrigo Uría, also with socialist fame and who aroused little or no sympathy in others. Sandoval was issued and sanctioned; the act had failed. On April 5, 1963, Julian Grimau had been shot. The commotion and political tension were enormous. We all felt exasperated. At the same time, the repression intensified. Couples of armed police on horseback watched the strategic points of the University City. And there was a plant, after many discussions. We were threatened with a sanction for indiscipline. So things came the summer and we were told that the party was going to hold a seminar on ideological study and debate in France; Each cell had to send some comrades to participate. It was turned by Venta de Baños and the train was going at the speed of the previous century. The arrival in Hendaye came late, having lost the connection to Paris. It was necessary to wait several hours wandering around the city. The Hendaye-Paris train I loved. The arrival at the Parisian station of Austerlitz also. France and especially Paris have always been attractive in Spain, for some reasons and others for others. For me the fascinating thing was the technique, the degree of development of the productive forces. We stayed all night and a good part of the next day wandering around Paris. It is one of the few times I have seen the awakening of Paris around 4 in the morning on the streets. The next day the sessions began. Then many more comrades were arriving. We all use war names. From the first day the discussions began. The Sino-Soviet ideological conflict had just erupted. The divergences between Carrillo and Claudín did not manifest themselves, but some difference in hue was vaguely perceived; or maybe tone or mood. In that seminar he read a letter by Manuel Sacristán on the peaceful transition from privatism to socialism, just as various texts of the Chinese communists were read and commented on. Santiago and I did not have the same tastes or the same philosophical orientations. Nor were we very compatible in vital attitudes or in economic availability. He imposed his company on me, having to go everywhere together. On the other hand our Sevillian friend, very flirtatious, was on his own, although we walked together several times. We wanted peace in the party but it did not come. The hostility that they manifested to us, strong and bitter, was evident in many behaviors whose detail I do not remember. It was my first contact with the ambassador's syndrome. My naivety suffered a severe blow. Subsequently I have noticed how common that kind of behavior is. Having argued with people, reasoned and reached common conclusions does not guarantee anything because many are those who are influenced by flattery, tricks or tricks: they will parley with an opponent and return as their agents. Firmness is a less frequent quality than what-if experience had not taught me-would lead me to think of my own obstinate temperament. It gave remorse of conscience to be in a fractional group, which was contrary to the whole communist tradition. There was an unbearable duplicity in that. Even his wife, Ana Guardione, was with us when looking for another option. I do not know where that contact came from. Manolo was the architect of the bluff and the lie: he made us believe that they had organized groups of workers in many cities. The presentation was made by the Sevillian student to whom I have referred a few paragraphs above. We had a couple of interviews then. López Campillo was a well-educated man, a trosquista to a hammerhead. There was cordiality in those two coffee talks. But the political disagreement was total. Later I learned other things about his career, which I did not know at the time. He had been a fervent and proselytizing Protestant; I do not know if pastor, I think so. In the second half of the 50 it was passed to Marxism, in its trosquista variant. It is true that the Trosquista tradition had developed a tactic, that of entrism, to get out of its isolation - although I think it had been directed more towards social democratic parties. Thus, in January 1964, the split was consummated. I think several hundred, but I do not know for sure. Pepe had no one behind him but only eager to put himself at the head of an urban guerrilla group to make revolution. On that occasion I was baptized by my new name of war: "Miguel." None contributed anything: no theoretical knowledge, no political experience or a militancy to which they drag neither charisma nor strategic vision. The Communist - a local organ that we took out to a multicopy - had to be filled with articles of mine for the most part. Manolo made frequent trips to Paris. But he insisted and pressed for me to accompany him twice. The first was early, I think at the beginning of March 1964. The second was at the end of summer. On my first trip to Paris to participate in the Proletarian coordinating committee I suffered one of the biggest disappointments of my life. In the face of surprises, there are many ways of reacting. And there are limits to what is tolerable. The meeting of the Proletarian Committee was cordial. When I returned to Spain, the problem arose for me whether I should tell my comrades, particularly Matías, what I had seen. But in reality to the others, the figure of López Campillo was indifferent to them. The only one that had This problem was raised by me, because nobody else knew him. Also, of course, the secrecy rules made it difficult for me to confide to those who were not on the organization's committee. The following months were spent developing an intense but ineffective activity. During those months of 1964 I made a contact with an envoy of Claudin, who wanted to catechize me and to whom I gave gourds. It was an enigmatic organization for me. Our Proletarian group made attempts to penetrate the factories, based on the only militancy we had, which was the student. Some small success we did have. Among other means, we went to the distribution of propaganda among the workers. That news did transmit to my comrades, evidently. Matías was very scared with that matter. Again I wanted to believe that, since in the end what was alleged was true, it was worth ignoring the irregularity of the procedure and moving on. During that summer of 1964 I was working as a distributor of the newspaper YA to get some money in favor of the organization, which was very poorly funded. The Proletarian group did not advance much, but it remained. It would take place in Paris on the weekend of Saturday, October 31 and Sunday, November 1. The sessions took place at the Alhambra Theater. I think the divergence was essentially of personal incompatibilities and conflicting ambitions. The fact is that we only had precise ideological positions of the Proletariat. I think they despised us, as fatuous students and young men with pretenses, for not being reverent towards their seniority. They prolonged what the meeting could do to make it fail. They had been elected to the central committee, but they knew that they could not handle it at ease and that ideologically we were those of Proletariat, with elaborate theses and an articulated doctrinal platform. Valera was born around 1909-1910, counting at that time fifty and some years. After a chain of exiles, imprisonments and vicissitudes, he emigrated to Colombia in 1954. He convened an extended plenary session of the central committee in Brussels in which all the reasons for disagreement or disagreement would be discussed and decisions taken. Commissions were created to study the different parts of the political line that had to be approved and plenary sessions were also held. Those of the dissident circle of November 3 came. The debates were wide, deep and intense, fully sincere and even sometimes acid. 4º The political objective that should be proposed for the revolutionary struggle of the Spanish people: a popular anti-imperialist democracy, which would be built by overthrowing the power of the financial oligarchy and landowner subordinated to US imperialism. 7th International alignment, basically subscribing to the thesis of the Chinese and Albanian comrades and denouncing the errors of Khrushchoff. 9º The correct position that had to be adopted against the revisionism of Santiago Carrillo. 10º The question of self-determination and the problem of nationalities in Spain. These debates led to conclusions that each committee then presented in the plenary session, in which part was voted by part. Naturally, the conclusions were only written in generic terms, leaving for later the task of translating them into more elaborate documents. It occurred to me to classify them as "unprincipled opportunists", a nickname that prospered. With the Marxist faith in theory, I thought that this immense work of doctrinal and ideological deliberation had laid firm foundations for the construction of a solid party with the intention of fighting for our ideals. In the Plenary Hernán had been able to express himself like the others and make his proposals. Again I think that the style of debates and approaches was not what they were used to. There may have been other causes. In the spring, in accordance with the decisions of the management, I had to join it as a permanent member of the party, leaving my father's house and dropping my studies. From Paris I traveled with Comrade Matias to a French city near the Pyrenean border. From there we took a taxi and he accompanied me to a point where we said goodbye; I crossed a pontejo on foot and was already in Spanish territory. I hitchhiked; I was picked up by a French couple and with them I went to San Sebastian. Arriving at night at the floor where I expected to be picked up, I found that there was no one. The next morning I was able to make contact with the clandestine organization of the party in Madrid. And there I came across what had happened in my absence: Anselmo, in tune with many others, had turned to Trotskyism. I leave to others the conspiratorial speculations; I have for me that what caused that commotion was my absence together with the superficiality of the ideological convictions of the young comrades and how volatile the human mind can be. I'm not saying I read everything, much less, but a lot. They had already opted and I was not going to convince them. If it had been, I am inclined to think that I would have acted more intelligently, because that blow was useless. I think he was thirsty for adventure, that he considered himself a Nietzschean superman. As he seemed a "worker", a practical man, it seemed that it was good to counteract the students' theory. At the beginning of autumn, we had lost almost all the organization in Madrid, which was the only one that was a bit important in the interior. A little in Vizcaya, almost nothing in Barcelona and this or that contact here or there. Overall, the party inside was practically dismantled. In the Nervión estuary there was that little bit of what I just talked about. There was a dispute between them; Emilio reproached Matías many errors of conduct. Matias took it badly and left to the cheerless, leaving me a fond farewell note. I think Algorta's apartment had been rented by him; I do not remember how I came out of that. I was skeptical, but I also had no valid explanation. The rational thing would have been to rethink everything at that moment. But stubbornness long ago. In December, the delegation traveled, formed by Valera and myself; the flight had to be postponed for a week due to a weather problem at the Geneva airport. We were traveling in a plane of the Pakistani flag company. The airplanes of that time were much slower and had less range than those of today. After the stopover in Colombo, flight to Dhaka, where we spend the night again. Accompany us on the trip a Peruvian communist with whom we were exchanging ideas about the situation in Peru, the presidency of Belaúnde and the political perspectives in his country. Upon our return from Peking, we traveled with a Colombian comrade. In China we stayed for no less than five weeks; I think it was Valera himself who suggested that long time. On that trip we visited several cities of Manchuria. In them we went through a number of factories and went down to coal mines. Without sweating what they taught us was conveniently sifted to hide the most painful sides of working life; but at no other time have I been able to have a perceptive knowledge of industrial production and that type of manual labor. It was not enough, of course, to count as an experience. At least it was an ephemeral sensory approach to realities that remain absolutely foreign to millions of middle class individuals - including me, despite all the tribulations and hardships of that period of militancy. In that trip to China I suffered a great disenchantment. And Valera too-maybe even more than me. It was clear that what interested the Chinese leadership was not to support revolutions, but to have choruses. At least thanks to that trip I could travel to many corners of China and sightseeing. For me, in addition, there was another additional reason for disillusionment - that only above I told Comrade Valera. It refers to the question of Stalin. Today this issue is going to sound bad to most readers. For me, the reverse happened-despite my few years. One of the main reasons for my adherence to the Chinese line was that demand, which I took at face value in 1963. And it seems that they were following this one, the police. He was older than experience. Not because we have to give in to the fascist repression, but because we lacked the human and material resources for a struggle of such magnitude. Each split and each fall left us shaking because before the organization was rickety, we had very little support and our few militants were either very young or very poor or both at the same time. But stopping the fight raised the question of what to do with those who had trusted the direction. And anyway we had the faith of the coalman. The executive committee was reconstituted and we moved on. Eduardo = Miguel was also in charge of the secretariat of party organization. This left a three-member secretariat and an executive of five individuals. A few months later Matías escaped from Spain. Knowing the passage of Dancharinea and being a bold man, he planted himself in Paris. From Manolo I spoke above as the author of the bluff that had led to the constitution of the Proletarian group in January 1964. He did not stay long in the executive. Some years later Andrés and Iñaki will join the executive. The promotions of April 1966 were not made with statutory regularity, because a plenary session of the central committee that had decided those appointments was not met. It was not even proposed such a call, because it was judged that there were emergency reasons that imperatively imposed the cooptation or designations. Of all these changes, the most transcendental was the sudden promotion of Comrade Helena to both the executive and the secretariat. And it was that he was a person whose most characteristic feature was an iron will, rolling, with an overwhelming power of attack. She was the daughter of an Eusco-Navarrese father of a noble lineage and of a Palencian mother. Refugee child of the war, was welcomed in England, where he could do baccalaureate studies thanks to a scholarship. Materially this gave him a well-off existence and a secure situation, given that the Swiss government turned a blind eye to any activities of international officials in Geneva. The spouses, badly avenues, continued to share their political position for years. Both husbands went to Pequín in that group's delegation in the summer of 1964. More precisely at that time there was separation leading to divorce. That conjugal conflict will be intermingled in the autumn with the political division that took place after the unification conference in Paris, since the husband, Suré, will lead the splitting circle on November 3. Despite this marriage failure, Helena had triumphed in life starting from difficult conditions. The troubles had hardened her. He thought that the revolution was easy and that the Spanish bourgeoisie was a coward, and could be defeated with courage and determination. The bustle of existence and his own impulsiveness prevented him from acquiring solid knowledge, but he had the skill to assimilate some scattered notions, a little at a stretch. I did not think it was necessary to go deeper. The worst of those limitations is that what she did not know did not exist. Perhaps in his English studies he had been inculcated with the Berkeley principle, esse est percipi. Thus, what she did not understand or understand was as if she did not exist. If his articles were cumbersome, it was not only for reasons of style and conceptual darkness, but because he refused to go into detail. Skilled for discussion, he had no habit of rational debate. Her practicality and narrow utilitarianism led her to conceive verbal exchange as a mere instrument to achieve what she wanted, that was to impose his will. Helena was not dogmatic, she was not doctrinaire. His doctrinal opinions were vaporous, ethereal, vague. His ideological rapport with the teaching of the classical thinkers he believed he was adhering to was superficial and selective of the most. His pragmatic sense away from that rigor or logical scruple that shuns inconsistency. His use of the theory was instrumentalist and governed by the principle of opportunity. More particularly, Comrade Helena was in deep disagreement with several of the essential theses of dialectical and historical materialism and the worldview of the Marxist-Leninist doctrinal tradition. Moreover, he rejected two essential theses of Marx. In the first place, he rejected that the teleological imperative, the magnet of human historical progress, is the growth of the productive forces. That thesis deserved only contempt. The bourgeoisie had already been in charge of this development and that was the end of its mission. He rejected, in the second place, the thesis that the main human need is to work. For her, work was only a necessary evil that had to be limited as much as possible. Nor was another central thesis of Marxism believed: that human subjectivity is constrained by objective laws. Rather, he believed in free will. From Mao's writings he liked the fable of the old fool who moved the mountain. And he had faith in the ability of the human will to remove obstacles. It only took enthusiasm and decision. From the dialectical theory of Marxism rejected almost everything. His vision was totally discontinuista and saluaria. I always thought about dichotomies: all or nothing. If, between 1966 and 1978, she was a staunch supporter of Maoism and the new Chinese line, it is because all this was linked to her own previous tendency. I heard once that Helena had been Togliattian before opting for Chinese theses in 1963. I do not know how much truth there may be in that. Naturally I never dealt with it with her. His dogmatism was front, adaptive and instrumental. Anyway, maybe what I just said is not entirely accurate either. For Helena, it was not a question of believing that things are like that or otherwise. Even these three convictions were, in her, more practical than theoretical. He hardly counted that, in fact, these three theses were true or not. The truth or falsity of the assertions did not have great significance in his mind. They were three ideas-force that serve the action. Being a Marxist was a matter of wanting, not of knowing; of the will, not of the understanding. But, badly good, in the interior they were gradually getting small local deployments. The one with the other made us think that we were advancing. The assemblies, of whatever type, are incompatible with clandestinity. What I had not noticed was that, in the end, the majority of the executive shared that trosquistizante approach, only that at that moment he did not say it openly. Despite this questioning of the political foundations that we had agreed upon, the course apparently ended well; Then those arrests came. This period was also marked by a diversification of the contacts we had with a wide range of Spanish organizations and other countries. There was also occasional contact with comrades from Venezuela and Chile. Other contacts were seminars over a number of days, at shorter meetings each, involving comrades from the interior who were going through a cooling period in Paris. Such explanations-especially when we entered philosophical subjects-always provoked intellectual discomfort, because I reproached myself for having to simplify things. On one occasion I saw the singer Paco Ibáñez, a friend of that circle. In general, contacts with Ullán and other alleged supporters were unsuccessful. The party wanted to get support, but in practice they they did not want to assume any commitment-or maybe I was not insistent enough or persuasive. The quality of such meetings was deteriorated. I do not remember at all through whom that contact was made. The two interviews were held in a bar. They only wanted us to facilitate their relationship with the Albanians so that they could have training there for the armed struggle. Between my two appointments, I transmitted his proposal, which was rejected by the executive. I tried to say it with kindness and courtesy, but with them there are no middle terms. In sectarianism we were not left behind: it is adverse to them as long as it does not favor the independence of the oppressed Basque people. We had not smelled it or Valera or me. Disrupted all our approaches. The voip du peuple de Grippa then published a harsh critique of Rittenberg. The sensible thing would have been that, faced with this chain of desertions, we would rethink seriously if it made sense to maintain our adherence to the Chinese pronouncements. I went to a small room on the ground floor where we interviewed, always with all cordiality. It was then published a number of our magazine, Spanish Revolution, which was to contain precisely an article by Grippa. After the Eiffel Tower interview, I did not react. My nature took me then - and it has always kept me going - to avoid hasty decisions. Naturally, I related to him the mysterious conversation he had just had with the official of the Albanian legation. In relation to Albania, I make a point to remember my four trips to that paisúculo or State in miniature. Unfortunately the times were not at all favorable to appreciate art and the legacy of history. On the other hand, on the third visit to Albania, I had the opportunity to taste the Illyrian or Cyclopean ruins of a site not open to tourism near Gjirokastra. A mishap in the visit to Wuján would have a profound significance for my convictions and my future habits - although at the moment it did not alter them. We visited a slaughterhouse - specifically of pigs. He is the only one I have seen in my life. A mechanical tape transported them to the scene of the torture; I do not remember if what awaited them was visible to them or if they only perceived it indirectly; the fact is that they resisted desperately to let themselves be dragged by the tape, showing fear and crying pitifully. Despite having been childhood enemy of the cruelties against our inferior brothers, I was not yet sensitive to the tragic fate of our relatives. Six or seven years later that remembrance will be added to other ethical considerations to lead me to a less inconsistent animalism, which includes the vegetarian option. Subsequently, this option has been reinforced by ecological arguments and equity between the humans themselves. They asked me if that answer satisfied me. And I thought that, for once, the criticism was fair. If I remember correctly, this time there was no alms, neither big nor small. I think they said the difficulties of the RC. Our economic situation was distressing. The small assignments given to party permanents were suspended except in extreme cases of danger. They had been intercepted by the French police crossing the border, perhaps because they were carrying propaganda material. The French police were aware and let us act. In order not to truncate my story, I leave for the next section, §10, the digression on the French May 1968. When that conflict occurred in France, only I was reserved and distant. For the first time, I was - in front of those positions - in a minority of one within the executive. In the following section I explain my thesis about it. Later the two will be stopped. The days of May I did not live with enthusiasm, but, on the contrary, with regret and unease. The general strike left everything paralyzed. Later I traveled with them by car to the city of Lake Geneva, from where I followed part of the French events. At least in Geneva I could continue a job facing Spain. I returned to Paris at the beginning of June. I can reproach myself for my Spanish nationalism: putting the interests of the anti-fascist and anti-imperialist cause in Spain before the revolutionary so-called struggle of the masses mobilized in the French May. I grant that, had such a collision occurred, I would have chosen to prefer the interests of Spain, because that was my obligation. France was not and could not be a revolution, or anything remotely similar. There were legitimate workers struggles. And even part of the student demands were, at least in part. But they were not given-or in the process of becoming-conditions for a revolution or for anything that would even begin to approach such a phenomenon. Many were surprised by how the strike movement wore out in June, among other causes because people became impatient, fearing to miss their vacations. The French proletariat had a lot to lose, not its chains. And I had relatively little to gain. But the gain was marginal; and I would have lost it by continuing a fight that could not go any further. That possibility was based on: The radical illegitimacy of the fascist tyranny and its usurper character. The generalized republicanism, when the only possibility of institutionalizing the reigning despotism was the monarchical restoration. The low level of generalized life and poverty of a large part of the population -with the discontent that it entailed. The memory of the collective heroism of the civil war. In the Spanish imaginary of the time there was a pride of miscegenation that had been promoted or used by the rhetoric of some intellectuals of the regime and by a part of their propaganda apparatus, at least occasionally. The collective mentality has changed a lot since the transition. In such perceptions there were stereotypes; they were images of Épinal, as the French say. But they existed and they were very widespread. In this rustic estate, several meetings of the executive committee and a plenary session of the central committee will be held later. The conclusions of Brussels were not outlined in texts that were approved there but, in the spirit of what was agreed upon, the executive was entrusted with the task of writing and disseminating the appropriate documents. He had been postponing and could not wait anymore. In that program I inscribed, and detailed, the freedoms and individual rights that should be instituted and protected. The only argument raised was, curiously, regarding divorce. I had formulated the claim as "freedom of divorce." Helena, on the other hand, supported me in that resolutely. Matías argued that one thing is the right to divorce and another freedom, that is, the right to a free, unrestricted divorce. He argued that this meant leaving the weak party in a situation of inferiority, since it was subject to the unilateral decision of the spouse to unilaterally break the marriage bond without compensation. Everything I have reflected on in recent years in this regard convinces me that Matías was absolutely right and that my point of view then, of a radical individualism, was absolutely wrong. What I have argued is that this legal restriction implied a paternalistic treatment: protecting women through legal prohibitions, instead of advocating that she herself assume independence in the couple's relationship. The only point on which that summer seminar of 1968 led to a modification of our position concerns the problem of nationalities. I had been in charge of preparing the debates of the seminar by writing the new theses, which I did in another of the many essays of those years, About the problem of nationalities in Spain. This booklet, written between 1968 and 1969, provoked a lively discussion in the executive committee. Comrade Helena preferred to avoid all thorny issues to remain in vague generalities - although in the essentials he agreed with my theses, without enthusiasm or conviction. To the others, those historical themes did not seem to interest them. The foundation was a philosophical principle of dialectics, which Marxists invoke to troche and moche but rarely take into account when analyzing reality and propose solutions: the degrees, that is, the fact that the boundary between yes and no It is diffuse. I have already said above that from 1961 or 1962, approximately, I was worried about the formalization of dialectics and by that time I had already thought of a polyvalent logic as an appropriate vehicle for that task. But it was not possible to put these issues aside, even indirectly or implicitly. However, it does not address a problem, and it is what happens when several of these features are completely absent and the others only concur to some degree not very high. To these partially possessing collectivities -with the exclusion of those that surround them- of some feature of those that serve to characterize a nation, it was called our brochure "nationalities". And is that the facts create obligations. The prolonged, intergenerational participation in a civic coexistence creates rights and duties of solidarity that it is not lawful to violate by a unilateral decision of rupture. Such proposals were very fought, inside and outside the party. Instead he advocated a senate, a nefarious solution that, thank God, our brochure of nationalities did not subscribe. My Catalan-badly learned stumbling autodidactically-I doubt that it would never be much; It was, of course, bookish and full of archaisms. The economic situation did not allow me to just buy books, but my parents sent me a few, being able to read a number of works in Catalan, to help me in that study and to better know the Catalan reality and history. Leaving aside everything related to the Echegorri seminary and the ideological production emanating from it, I will mention that in 1966 or 67 I had been commissioned to direct the local organization of Paris, which had been dismantled by the abandonments. I do not think my address did any miracle, but at least the cells were maintained and some expanded. After the events of May I was dismissed and the whole committee changed. They wanted more and better results as well as a more combative spirit and close to the struggle of the French, which was expected to return with impetus in which a hot October was announced. All yearned or feared a new outbreak. The great news of the French radio the day of the opening of the classes that autumn would be that nothing had happened. How the Union was formed I do not know for sure. Behind the coincidences there could be discrepancies in approach, a different filling of those conceptual molds. The fact is that, as far as I remember, and in spite of being composed mainly of people from the academic and intellectual milieu, they did not elaborate great texts where they presented their theses. Nor was there any reason for antagonism. Relationships did not start very well. Following a class scheme, he expressed disinterest in Spain: "I understand belonging to the French proletariat." But soon they were heated and our frequent and frequent exchange gave an excellent result. Spain is the country of friendship; and friendship passes over everything. I believe that my first contacts with LA had taken place shortly before the events of the French May, which would mean that it was a year and a half process. The comrades in Geneva did not usually coincide in Paris for the opportune moments. The other Miguel was imprisoned in Spain -from January 1969-. Whoever carried it was right, it was not a sufficient reason not to be together. Entered into it, the comrades of the Union were very welcome. From then on I do not think there was spirit of faction: those who came from the Union against those who did not. I left clandestinely, being able to get married on February 19, 1969. The reason for registration was to justify my activity before the French authorities - every time the annual residence permit granted to me was for a certain activity, in my case the one of studies. I will complete this narrative of my Parisian term telling some personal details. In the middle of the indigence in which we lived, they were able to avoid painful situations thanks to the generosity of my people, the effort that we all made and a great self-discipline. In that storage room several comrades from the management and collaborators frequently came and went to pick up or leave materials. We stayed there for several months, between the end of 1966 and the beginning of 1967. During those months I had one of my usual diseases of the respiratory tract, being bedridden for several weeks; I got out of the accident thanks to injections of penicillin that kindly put me a nurse comrade, who worked in the English Hospital. Our second lodging, already independent, was a humid attic of rue Laugier. Among others, they formed that incipient and meager collection: an Encyclopedic illustrated Larousse dictionary; Several booklets of the series Que sais-je? Also included were books in Spanish that my parents had sent me, whose number was considerably increased over the following years. Even in the midst of those turbulences, the book did not lose its place in our lives. Given the importance of music in the mental life of any human being, I will mention that, thanks to the aforementioned gramophone, I was able to listen to some discs that they lent me. In those final years of my stay in Paris my back pains, lumbago and sciatica worsened. After having regularized my legal situation to obtain political asylum, I was able to go to the doctor, who diagnosed scoliosis and recommended swimming. Generally in these exhausting sessions he stopped only a few hours to sleep lying on the floor, his clothes impregnated by the tobacco smoke that flooded the whole environment. In short, I think that, however reactionary Raymond Aron was, he was quite right in his denunciation of the May carnival. Anyway, the outbreak of the riots in France posed a dilemma. We had never deliberated on what tasks we had in relation to the struggles in other countries. It was clear that we had acquired a commitment to fight for the overthrow of the fascist tyranny in Spain and to expel Yankee imperialism from our soil and that we should devote all our efforts to that. If the Spanish revolution was a priority or not, how should the comrades of other countries consider it, it was not our question. But we were dedicated in body and soul to that of Spain. By Albanian pressure we had cut with them. The May of 68 took them to contrapié and shortly after they were practically dissolved. It seems to me that they were weathering the storm as they could, searching busily for a line to propose. Be that as it may, I do not remember that we have returned to have official relations with that party after the French May. Such contacts she always took personally. Upon returning from his medical cure, Linhart provoked an internal dissension: some declared that the student struggles had been well and others that they had been wrong. The most cautious went over to the trend headed by Jurquet, to which I have just referred. I'm not going to equate France with Spain. A diffuse Maoism impregnated all that girl, mixed with Castro-Guevarism. These trajectories, of course, do not prove that their theses were correct at the time or that they were incorrect. The further evolution of an individual only commits him, of course. Not all the militants of that tendency - not even all the leaders - they have had a subsequent evolution so picturesque. But in the face of such a massive and generalized mutation, it is necessary to ask if it has diagnosable causes that are not a mere fortuitous cluster. A more plausible explanation is the rebound effect: the greater the violence of the throw, the stronger the zigzag will be. However, it has its limits. It incorrectly explains the infrequency of the rebound in the opposite direction. I prefer a more complex and nuanced explanation. The geometry of the space of political ideas is not linear-neither rectilinear nor curved-but multidimensional. It is very possible that each of these dimensions has its own geometry: some of them will be finite and others will be infinite; some circular or elliptical, others parabolic. Determine the position of someone in the space of ideas can only be done by crossing their multiple positions before a plurality of issues, tendentially infinite. And many others can be placed with their own and particular combinations. The political space is one in which these multiple options - many immeasurable - have to find ways of solving the game of alliances. In 1963 we had opted for Pequín believing there was a bulwark of that communist tradition. They were ideas that were going out of style. Comrades older than me were more in line with the times. You can not always be right and follow fashion. There are lucky times when yes. At a more specific point, the drift of so many French sixty-year-olds is explained as a continuation in a circumvallation: anti-Sovietism. The new Muscovite leadership that emerged from the dismissal of Khrushchof did not decide to continue completely its line nor to resolutely return to the previous road. In international politics, he neither resigned himself to recognizing US hegemony nor seriously worked for an anti-imperialist front. Faced with this double ambiguity, in internal and external politics, anti-Sovietism also suffered its own ambivalence. The first Prochinism, that of the years 1963 to 1967, demanded of the Russian leaders a strong position against Yankee imperialism. The anti-Sovietism of the ex-members of the proletarian gauche has led them to pro-Anarchism and other right-wing drifts. Today we are not in time of revolutions. Humanity, in its upward march, is looking for other ways. But those who explore these routes and enter them should not lose sight of the lesson of prudence and moderation that follows from these historical reflections. This ideology did not favor drifts like those of the French ex-reds. I had been arrested three times by the French police. Anyway, after the arrest of Matías, I judged it imprudent to continue in France; and the executive committee agreed with me on this point. Closing this digression on the three arrests I suffered in France, I return to the thread of events after moving to Geneva. Since 1969, a shift in the political line of the executive, begun when Matías was still active in management, had been taking shape. But now the turn is going to accelerate. In the new circumstances - and taking advantage of the superfluous composition of the highest governing bodies of the party - Comrade Helena felt stronger to launch an ideological approach oriented towards an ultra-leftist party. At the beginning surreptitiously, he was imposing on the executive a trosquistizante line, as I will analyze in §13. It seemed that we had to radicalize ourselves more in everything. I also doubt that theoretical critiques have been formulated to the model of self-managed socialism, so far in the sixties-old ideology. All that may be paradoxical but it was like that. It was theorized to want to approach problems with theoretical conceptualizations, with analysis, with arguments. It tended to replace that task with slogans. The delegation consisted of four comrades, including myself again. After many days of suffering and the useless ingestion of the drugs offered, I do not know by what instinct I came up with a remedy that cured me of the root: spread of tiger balm and spend three successive nights sweating. I still have a pair of short-sleeved terylene shirts bought in a shop in Beijing. In Pequín the relations between us deteriorated. It was clear to me that the Chinese friends wanted to break softly with us; we no longer served them. I was about to leave the room without saying a word. I did not do it but I was unfairly accused of having wanted to pull the blanket over my head, breaking with the Chinese. From that moment, I was being separated from the tasks of effective management. Having never been a member of the organizing committee, my work as liaison with the organizations of the interior was very limited. The only organization in the interior with which I was personally entrusted the regular link for some time was that of Catalonia - although I also participated in the meetings that, from time to time, were organized with the regional committees. A small break in my growing isolation in the beautiful city of Lake Geneva was a trip with my partner to Basel to visit a possible sympathizer. Regular correspondence was carried out by letters sent to trusted mailboxes in sympathetic ink and encrypted. I do not know how hard it would be to decipher without knowing the key-book. For such correspondence we used to use as mailboxes the addresses of friends or supporters who agreed to lend us that service. It was not easy to achieve, because many were afraid. In Geneva it was worse than in Paris, given the isolation in which we lived and the total collapse of the local party organization before we got there in 1970. My zeal was great in the conscientious accomplishment of that task. My idea was that you had to know the Spanish reality with hairs and signs, without knowing a bulge at all, above, bird's eye view. Of course, strong language had to be used; but that was not worth anything without the firm support of the data, e.d. without a reasonable argument. To persuade, you had to convince. To make those files, I used artisan procedures. The one that I practiced most frequently was the use of several extensions. They were cardboard boxes divided into compartments or folders, joined by a folded side, cloth or cardboard. In each folder I made subdivisions with cards. I was placing in those folders newspaper clippings along with machine-made cards with data taken from a plurality of sources. In spite of the rudimentary method of classification, the documentation thus grouped could be very useful, although to process it properly it would have been necessary a formation of which I lacked, having to supply it with ingenuity and improvisation. And, within that, especially the things of the countryside-given the interest I felt in agrarian matters. I could also read a few books and magazines of Marxist philosophy -especially French-, but certainly in very few numbers. I also keep in my file another manuscript written at the time: "Carrillo's insane compliments to the Yankee Francoist army." It is a blue onion folio size text. In Annex I, below, I offer an incomplete list of such articles. Neither my partner nor I had any legal situation in Switzerland. It was to be feared, at any moment, that a private individual would denounce the police for mere suspicion of illegal permanence in the territory. Even so, from the strictly material point of view, this final biennium was less painful than the Parisian four-year period. The less activity of contacts and meetings and a slight economic improvement allowed us - in addition to having a more varied diet - to frequent the pool and the lake beach as well as to walk through that beautiful city with its beautiful gardens. We were also able to acquire a TV set -although I spent a few hours on the small screen. On the one hand, what I knew about their political system I liked very much: I loved plebiscitary democracy and the participation of minorities in the executive power. It also seemed to me of pearls the civic spirit, the respect to the law and the order, the scrupulosity in the observance of the rules of civic coexistence, because it is the best way to respect others. The beauty of the city of Geneva would not be the same without the neatness of its gardens, its bridges and its streets, without the care with which the inhabitants take care of the public and private patrimony. At the same time - as I have already said - the police control of foreigners was brutal and people lacked the human warmth that was so common in Paris, where I felt much more at home. That final biennium of my revolutionary militancy was also the propagation of a nascent mentality: Neomaltusianism, which today permeates everything. The ideological roots of that diffuse current are multiple; It is connected with the spirit of May 1968, only from the edge of the privatist oligarchies. These theses are now assumed by all environmentalism and practically all political forces, because all of them have climbed into this car, since none wants to stop capitalizing on that expanding mentality. The truth is that the alarms were coming from before. That same message spread the cinema and television with various documentaries. The ideological debate raised in society was no longer the same in 1971-72 as it was five years ago. That question led to another. Suddenly the Chinese in 1967 claimed that they were countries where capitalism had already been restored and in particular the Soviet Union had become social-imperialist. Such modifications altered our approach and influenced our reasoning, apart from the fact that they were difficult to swallow intelligent and informed people. We had no choice but to follow his wake. But the most serious thing is that when Carrillo distanced himself from Moscow in August 1968, two pro-Soviet dissidence emerged. In any war each belligerent tries to provoke discontent in the enemy ranks-or to find out if it exists-without, however, harboring the illusion of ceasing war by a peaceful agreement from above. It is also absurd the accusation of having waited many years to attack Carrillo, that is, of not having seconded in 1963-64 the pro-Chinese split. We had also waited a few years since Carrillo launched the policy of national reconciliation in 1956. Comrade Lister had reasons not to join our premature and precipitate split in 1964. My own position on this was not entirely correct. Although I disagreed with the sectarian position of the majority, I did not dare to fight for a frank and affectionate welcome, which is what I thought we should have at heart. The thesis of the article is far from being fair, because I had no choice but to follow the Chinese line. The article affirms that the base militants attached to E. García's group were honored comrades who were breaking with the carrillismo. So, the essence of my article was an attitude of outstretched hand. The "all or nothing" is obviously a principle that leads directly from ambition to everything to renounce everything, when the goal is unattainable. We can enumerate thirteen divergences, although with a retrospective glance - that always runs the risk of projecting on the past a present light that partly disfigures it. Question of method: we were associated around some ideas and to carry out some tasks, adhering to an ideological tradition. The question of the Soviet Union arose: was it a capitalist and imperialist country? The southern line felt the opposite. Question of imperialism: we had affirmed that Yankee imperialism He was our main enemy, but what did that mean? In relation to this, the question of whether the Spanish revolution was anti-imperialist was also raised; for the comrades of the northern line, only incidentally, because the main enemy was the internal enemy. In connection with the preceding problem, what link had to be established with the anticolonialist and anti-imperialist revolutions of the third world? For the comrades of the northern line, one of solidarity but not of inclusion, and without losing sight of the fact that what is essential is the struggle between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat in Europe. In relation to that, what attitude to adopt in relation to the middle bourgeoisie? Question of tactics: what armed struggle did we plan? In other words: to propose to the popular masses a revolutionary policy in accordance with their interests and deep aspirations, what is it? I consecrate the following section to the 4th divergence. The question of republicanism With regard to the 3rd discrepancy, we even had discussions about the Republican flag. To avoid any hint of adhesion to the Spanish Republic, for a time the word "republic" was ignored. If one occasion was propitious to propose a republic, it was that. Instead of doing it, what is proposed is a popular democracy: in front of the monarchy, democracy. in Vanguardia Obrera No. 45, sep.-oc. Not to wait until the transition had been started, producing the exaltation to the throne of who had been designated successor as king in 1969. I will now explain some details of the 6th divergence. Our disagreement was very profound. For the southern line, Mao Tse-tung's slogan of isolating the main enemy was a basic principle of any intelligent political struggle. In reality it is old like the world. Descartes formulated it in another way in his Regulae ad directionem ingenii: to break down the difficulties, analyzing them, to solve them one by one. Really assimilating this principle meant, for us, adopting a policy of distinctions and differential treatment. The policy of alliances, the forging of a front of multiple anti-Francoist and anti-imperialist sensibilities, was a part of that policy of judicious distinctions; not the only one The principle of distinction had to be applied to each field, to each plot of land. We were already engaged in an in-depth struggle against Carrillo's revisionism. I overlook the delirium of our attacks-that they lost all reason by forgetting the sense of moderation and proportion. Already launched as we were, we went for Don Santiago without concessions. You had to court them with grace, delicacy, patience and gentleness. For the northern line, they had to go for all of them to slaughter. I was in total and absolute disagreement. I completely rejected such pretension. I had elaborated documents for an approach to Komunistak. But, after my departure, the C.E. The zigzag revisionism of the "Red" flag group. The false anti-revisionism of E. Lister. Another face of revisionism in Spain. In other words, he lashed out against those who did not pay homage to us. Happily I did not have, in the least, art or part in the writing of any of those three unfortunate documents. Link with anti-imperialist revolutions in the third world I now turn to the 8th divergence. The few echoes of such turbulence that reached his ears caused him nothing but indifference, like the ignorant who knows nothing about politics and for whom the world is in turmoil. I have specifically mentioned what happened in Iraq because that problem was raised once in our discussions. If we took seriously the thesis of the anti-imperialist character of the Spanish revolution, it had to be inserted in the context of the other anti-imperialist struggles and seek the alliance between all for a common front against Yankee imperialism. Deep down I thought that the main enemy is the set of all the enemies, including those who do not fully accept our points of view. My suggestion that they were published was not well received. To those who are not very adept in these ideological struggles, this terminological endeavor will seem like a logomachy - as is the case with theological quarrels, branded as "Byzantine". The assumption under which disputes between Trotskyists and Orthodox Communists had developed in the 1930s was the vision of Spanish society as semi-feudal. At the height of the late 1960s, studies of the economic history of Spain and the evolution of the Spanish economy challenged this approach. Failing to take a further step of enlightenment, the theory was shaky. It was hard for the adept comrades of the northern line to swallow the theory of the two stages; they were puzzled over its foundation for Spain, since conceiving it as a backward and dependent country was increasingly doubtful. His approach won the game at the meetings of the leadership of Christmas 1971. Such gloomy meetings were held in December 1971 in Echegorri. I already had my head away from those cliffs. In application of the rampant ultraleftism it was wanted to suppress the already low threshold of non-confiscation for the agrarian estates. For me, already put to that, they could stamp what they wanted because the spirit of the revolution by stages of 1964 was already dead and buried. The rest of the article made it clear that the private property that would be respected at that stage would be residual or marginal. I had left her behind, but Comrade Helena Odena continued to stir up the controversy. It is obvious that this case of bookish leftism inevitably leads, if not overcome, to the abandonment of the struggle, as was the case in the case we have just analyzed. Not a single reader will have understood, in his moment, a word of all that. No doubt he has his explanation, in which I do not enter here. Where "bookish" is used as a pejorative term, things go badly, very badly. Or the one who only learns from books-from the classics-and dispenses with experience? In the first place, it was my duty, because it was a responsibility that the party leadership had expressly entrusted to me. Primacy of will or understanding Step, finally, to comment on the 13th divergence. As I have stated, it may seem like a scholastic problem; and there is something of that. Again here is in the background a different philosophical conception. The intellectualist position of the southern line saw things in the opposite way. Conclusion With that I conclude the exposition and the clarification of the 13 discrepancies. Even so - knowing what it has of partly artificial reconstruction - I think my scheme is not without foundation. With all the above I am not saying that there was a just line, the southern one, and another wrong, the northern one. These theses were presented in the Charter of the Chinese central committee of June 14, 1963. But that text was not understood as the creed, but as a possible abbreviated formulation of our shared theoretical and practical positions. And I base the comparison in that it was a matter of returning the immediately preceding tradition to a decisive turn of the rupture. But it was not, in any case, a restart, a pretense to jump over all that common tradition to join with an authentic doctrine that would only be in the sources. These sources could be lawfully adduced, but one also had to abide by hermeneutical canons according to the common tradition. I was not the only one to perceive the contradiction between these theses of Lenin and officially codified communism. Others have been led by that reflection to abandon that canonical version. Leaving aside that it is a false thesis, hegemony can be understood in two ways at least. The word "hegemony" comes from the Greek, where it means: driving. There is a coercive drive like that of rider who guides his mount. And there is a persuasive driving, like that of the teacher who guides his disciples. He conquered proletarian hegemony by force of sacrifice, heroism, perseverance, loyalty to legal institutions and unalterable republican morality. Apart from the particularities of that notion and its use in the context of the Italian philosopher's thought, it is clear that, if in the Leninist tradition that word has been used, "hegemony" is for something. Hegemony is not imposed on the enemy and it is about dominating it. To a greater or lesser degree, explicitly or implicitly, this notion of hegemony has always conveyed a sense of attraction and conviction. He could not, as it suited him or as it served to increase proletarian hegemony, sometimes respect them and sometimes violate them. The word was at stake. What is defended here is maximalism, the policy of not making a single major concession. Because what concessions are "of principle"? Now, only a united front with other forces and currents is possible if important concessions are made and if one strives not to frighten them. In addition, politics and life are evolutionary and require adaptation and flexibility. That any intelligent individual knows, acting according to that pattern in work, in the circles that frequent, even in the restricted area of the family. With the slogan "Not one more concession!" - or any variant of it - is not going anywhere. The sixth conclusion was that the party can not pretend to do everything through the united front and that it must maintain its independence within it, carrying out the necessary measures on its own, even without its allies. That statement contains two parts. The one is true but banal; the other is false. That the party, within the front, has its own tasks and its physiognomy, that is true. After the apparent tautology of the first part of this conclusion lies the error: the concept that is conveyed by the word "heading". There is the heading of prestige, of guidance, of influence, which is earned with good work and example. And there is the heading of the command and the hierarchy that separates the superior from the inferior or subordinate. According to that, a conscription army can not win a revolutionary war. It was a legitimate measure the decision of the Spanish Republican government to join the ranks of the servants forced to do so by the duty to provide military service to swell the popular army that defended legality for three years, 1936-39. None of us knew a word of strategy or military tactics. Little weight could have the argument that the guerrilla war against Napoleon had reached the triumph in 1808-1814. Possibly the Soviet experience of the Second World War proves that, under certain conditions, the guerrillas in enemy territory are combinable with the struggle on the front. The purpose of guerrilla warfare is to wear down the enemy through unforeseen actions, based on local superiority and the support of the population. From the beginning the guerrilla struggle was tried. In the autumn of 1936 Soviet advisers arrived who organized parties or "guerrilla detachments". Lister says yes, especially at the beginning. The romantic images of the fight against Napoleon and the people in arms were not a precedent for the actions of 1937-1938. Guerrilla warfare required other conditions. The tanks of the popular army would have to have constituted an armored reserve ready to counterattack before any penetration that the nationals had tried. What the Republic could not do was simply abandon the orthodox tactics of war for heterodox actions, as some idealistic militiamen dreamed. And it is that the conditions did not exist to carry out a generalized guerrilla war. The most favorable areas, with the most adequate, they were not enough to have harassed the national troops until they were neutralized. I will present my arguments a few paragraphs below. Regardless of how bright the guerrilla possibilities were or are no longer, I disagree with Viñas in his defense of General Rojo's strategy. In short, do what recommends A. Beevor: a defensive strategy. The republican army would have had to renounce completely the offensives -that came out very expensive and that, in the best of cases, could only be pyrrhic victories. He should have devoted himself to entrench and fortify the entire front as much as possible, with several staggered defensive lines. Our war was one of resistance. We also had means for some counter-offensives, in spaces where the enemy moved away from their bases. We lost the rest because the Spanish army had worn out in the chimeric offensive operations. In front of my thesis six objections can be formulated: 1st objection: with the pure defensive one can not win a war. I answer: the war of Spain could not be won by the Republic militarily. But its military embodiment was not, because General Rojo adopted a strategy of war of offensive operations as if the war could be won militarily. 2nd objection: with a popular army on the defensive, it would have been easy for the fascists to pierce the border fortifications here or there, opening a gap through which they would have broken into the republican zone. I answer: the defensive strategy does not exclude the counter-offensive, the counter-attacks. The only thing that excludes is the offensive. 3rd objection: this would have left the initiative to the enemy. I answer: it was precisely a mistaken obsession of the professional military of the popular army that eagerness for initiative. In a war of resistance you do not have to want to take the initiative. Who has the initiative does not lead to win, but lose, unless you have superiority. I answer: this principle is not valid for a war of resistance in which it is not possible to attack. I answer: probably there was betrayal in the French high command, which sympathized with Hitler - as did most circles of the Gallic upper class. I answer that the operations prior to November 1936 faced a rebellious army with a non-army, with a few organized militias aided by a disarticulated military framework. They were two different societies, differentiated in the demographic, socio-economic and anthropological orders. Eastern Spain included the three major cities of the country and its main industrial regions. Its population had a large component of workers and day laborers, unlike Western Spain where the peasantry predominated and where the urban population was, predominantly, artisanal and services. The religiosity indexes were much higher in western Spain. The population density was very diverse. Where the distance separating the two Spains from each other was most noticeable was in the ideological environment of their respective intellectualities, which followed diametrically opposed patterns, with divergent traditions. An external and ignorant observer traveling on the one and then on the other would have gotten the impression that they were two countries split off centuries ago to develop, each, their own idiosyncrasy. Teruel was the only one that was briefly occupied by the republican army. This panorama shows us the great stability of the front - which was much more than that, as I have already said: it was the dividing line between two States and between two civilizations. The Cantabrian provinces could not defend themselves in 1937 for many reasons; they constituted an enclave of eastern Spain in the western one. But a firm defensive strategy would have allowed the gradual consolidation of the republican army in eastern Spain, making it impossible for Franco to win the war. Closing that six-objection round and two answers, I will add that it does not escape me that Beevor expresses his opinions as one more element of his radical anti-communism. But in what is right, carries it. Franco was groping, giving sticks of blind. At first he thought he was going to take Madrid and that "the reds" would sink like that. He was saved by the erroneous offensive strategy of the popular army, thanks to which he was able to inflict tremendous losses and, in the counterattack, seize important parts of the republican zone. I'm afraid the editors are here in Babia. And the masses: they believe it; and they become patient, they do not despair because of a war that seems endless and endures whatever. In Spain, the communist party had to speak to the masses about an absolutely different type of war, under totally different conditions, addressing more than half of the country's population. And, if they had the gift of prophecy, why would the masses believe it? And to believe it, would they have been furious? The true motivations of the brochure on war I thus close my refutation of the six conclusions that I have chosen; the other four are irrelevant or redundant. But the brochure does not contain a single one in that sense. Being, then, so wrong all the brochure that I have been commenting on in the preceding paragraphs, what was the point? Neither Paulino nor I were for the work. In the conversations they not only urged us to that "self-criticism", but they also suggested the terms. Such an exercise was nonsense. At the height of 1972, who would we blame? Santiago Carrillo joined the Communist Party in 1936 and was not part of the ruling nucleus until much later. His responsibility was only significant in Madrid, not on a national scale. Without those mistakes, the anti-fascist war of 1936-39 would have been won. That some of his decisions or omissions were wrong is undoubted. It is difficult to know to what extent such mistakes affected the defeat; I tend to think that little. Such a war is exceptional in the history of mankind. It was the armed confrontation between two states separated by a front - which tended to form individual nations. My current criticism does not necessarily reflect my point of view in the years 1970-72. The first was of a procedural nature and not a substantive one: the binding or not of the Statutes; that is, the duty of scrupulous compliance with them. The second additional difference that arose I will relate it anecdotally. It referred to an alleged revolutionization of the party. We tried to change our way of seeing life and our values, to rid ourselves of everything bourgeois and conservative. That would lead to stigmatizing pictorial styles such as cubism and, more than that, abstract art as bourgeois. So, opting for abstract art or for concrete was a personal choice of consumption, like choosing yellow or white cups. Everyone, as a consumer, would have their own preferences. However, the product of these speculations was a set of magnetic tapes where the discussions had been recorded. After the announcement, for the umpteenth time I was left alone in the executive; everyone else clapped ecstatically. The dispute we had over the position we were to adopt was chaotic. However, the use of such sophistic resources peaked in the debate - if we can call it that - on the Nixon question. The main argument that I opposed machaconamente is that I was left alone and there was more to talk. I only remember two reasons that were alleged in a justifying sense of such an invitation: Lenin did not say anything against the negotiations. In the face of the first, I maintained that it was by no means a criterion to know whether a conduct was lawful or illegal for the Communists that Lenin would have blessed with his approval. We were right not to go before, we also have it to go this time; in both cases we have responded measured by measure". Say it Mao Tse-tung or whoever, it's the pure truth. There can be no valid general rule of negotiation or negotiation. My argument did not convince; I'm afraid that he was not even paid attention. That friendship, mutually beneficial, had truncated Hitler's policy when he came to power in January 1933. Neither was being militarily attacked by anyone, nor had he vainly proposed to anyone an alliance pact or, finally, the approach to Washington it meant the return to a good previous understanding. Lost the moderation, franked that limit, the former exceptional happened to be the rule. They gave me back the serenity of those sunny days, swimming, resting, reading on the beach and evening cinema. Once reassured, when autumn came, I had to participate in management meetings dedicated to developing a new political party line. In that preparation, the 13 divergences that I mentioned in §13 surfaced. For this I had to overcome a problem of conscience. I came to the conclusion that I had no such duty at all. But that was completely impossible. In traditional communist parties it had never been foreseen to what extent it was lawful for members to voluntarily cease their membership. And there was not, at the time, any other comrade in the direction that enjoyed a legal life. Many times, even with good will, as a fatality. However, what was manifested in that meeting is that there was already consensus that the militant was not free to cease his militancy or even resign from his responsibilities. That incipient consensus raised a serious normative problem. No one had been warned, upon entering the party, that he was pronouncing perpetual vows. Not even in the course of his militancy had any comrade been warned of his duty to remain in the party in an indissoluble union until death separated him from it. Nor had anyone been warned that, once he accepted to assume a position of responsibility, he would be prohibited from resigning. The previous practice was not in that sense either. He had not questioned that, by his nature, leaving the ranks was a licit behavior, which no one had tried to prevent or hinder. Blocked the possibility to directly raise my exit and amicably arrange the details of the transfer of functions. On the other hand, the possibilities of political-ideological discussion were exhausted. The erística had replaced to the debate; due to an accumulation of circumstances, the minds that could have thought independently were no longer on the executive committee. For the following eight reasons: There must be the right of an individual to leave an organization to which he belongs. Being affiliated is a free act. Being the pact of militancy of indefinite duration, voluntary resignation must be able to occur at any time. Such subsidiary duties can only come into play when the exercise of the right to leave the organization is respected. In the event that the voluntary termination of affiliation has to be justified, such duty should be waived when there is no climate of rational and serene dialogue, but a spirit of tragala and apaumblation. It was against my communist conscience to continue being the leader of an organization that went into a wrong and suicidal path, not beneficial to the Spanish revolution. I answer that, without having discontinuity, there was an accumulated effect of deviations from the initial line of 1964. I myself -in many of the articles listed in Annex I- assumed and supported such deviations with my pen. In those days my parents came to visit us. The next day in the morning, my wife, my parents and I left by car. We said goodbye to my parents in Lyon. All that we carry over to the New World. In the afternoon we landed in Maiquetía, passing customs and police control. The uneasiness, the restlessness and the anguish invaded me. It was scarce my confidence in myself and in fortune. He barely caressed a vague hope. When I got off the plane on the afternoon of that Monday, May 29, 1972, my companion and I had two objectives: to survive and to go unnoticed. We feared that our past would prevent us from having the quiet, anonymous and anodyne present to which we aspired, about whose orientation we had no idea. At the Spanish consulate, a friendly official issued me, a few days later, a passport, which allowed me to move without carrying the stigma of a political anomaly. However, that stay in Lima could not be consolidated, opening no perspective of continuity. The road trip not only went much cheaper than by plane, but also allowed us to migrate with the house on our backs. The journey lasted more than sixty hours. I remember it a bit dreamlike, almost like a nightmare, full of surprises. I was led to academic life by a myriad of circumstances. As soon as we got to Quito, we stayed in an inn. We did the registration procedures - after certification of certificates. Thanks to the receipt, we were able to obtain an extended visa for studies at the immigration office. We visited relatives of some acquaintances, but they could not help us find a house. My partner searched for her through newspaper ads. There we lived 25 months: from the beginning of July 1973 to August 31, 1975. The food supply was also laborious in that neighborhood, scarce products of basic necessity. In winter the temperature was low, being difficult to warm up. In fact in that period my aches and pains were aggravated by the many catarrhs. One of the few means we found to combat the cold was the use of a brick, stolen in nearby works, which we put on fire, then wrapped in newspapers. Taking a taxi involved an expense that could be done from time to time, but not every day. So we wrote together our first monograph, which was on the subject of man in the philosophy of Leibniz. It was then, when asking for such certificate through an agency contacted by my parents, I knew that I was condemned for rebellion, having stolen my military conscription. Happily, the Belgian authorities granted us an exemption for humanitarian reasons. In the plebiscite of December 6, 1978, I could not vote. The transition pacts did not want frights: they excluded from the census the millions of Spaniards who still resided abroad. Not without fear, we traveled by coach from Liege to Madrid on July 28, 1979. When crossing the border through Behobia, a couple of policemen or civil guards who examined their passports got into the car. I hope it did not show in my eyes, which usually give me away. That border crossing made me see that Spain remained the same. It had been almost 14 years since he saw Spain for the last time. Despite the changes in surface, our Homeland remained unchanged. At the beginning of September we started our flight to Quito. I thought I would definitely stay there. The orientation of my philosophical work When my militancy ceased in 1972, I did not renounce my Marxist beliefs or my communist ideology. My convictions of that time I abandoned them later, not as a result of a sudden mutation, but of a gradual blurring and erosion of time. When I interrupted my political affiliation, I did not dedicate myself to topics of Marxian orientation nor did I embrace any variant of Marxism. From my youth Marxism persisted, for a long time, dialectical orientation and interest in Hegel. The dialectic remains today, in 2010, one of the characteristics of my philosophical work. However, my Marxism had always been colored by my previous philosophical concerns: ontology, logic and the philosophy of language. Any theories of radical split between man and nature were very alienated from my first contacts with Marxism. 3ª) A methodological canon of proving the statements with logically correct deductions, so as to reduce to the minimum possible that which is postulated as a premise without proof. Analytical philosophy is not a school. It does not share common opinions. What characterizes it is the diffuse cluster of those five canons or traits. Some philosophers can stick more to these canons, others less. A philosophical task will embody more of those traits and others less. Subsequently I heard again the same reproach. There is a certain underlying community between my two consecutive accessions, consisting of three similarities between the two. In accordance with this similarity, both currents coincide in offering criteria to inadmit certain proposals, for non-conformity with the professed guidelines. Both Marxism and analytical philosophy are common in which many different ideas and proposals can fit, but within limits. Around 1992 I started focusing on the logic of standards. And from the logic of the rules I went to the problems of legal logic and philosophy. Then I decided to embrace this discipline completely. This reorientation of my research work has a profound meaning - and it will also have a great impact on the evolution of my political ideas. In 1973-74 he had opted for abstract themes, far removed from those that are usually practiced by Marxists and ex-Marxists in the philosophical field. I have already explained the reasons in part, although they were more complicated. I had always felt distrust of ethics for two reasons. The first is that it seemed a rather idle occupation, a lecture. Thus there was no more rational ethics at the bottom than the meta-ethics, which was part of the philosophy of language. Ethics was no longer reduced to meta-ethics. However, my impression of futility persisted. Ethics will not change life. My approach to the topics of practical philosophy or normative rationality was coming later and sideways, as a development or application of the logic system that I developed during my doctoral studies in Liège. I was realizing that, along with theoretical rationality, practical rationality was a field of flowering of that logic and its virtualities. Along that path I got closer to the Law. In the context of my political reflection, I understood that all legal systems have an intrinsic rationality and that it is possible to make them evolve in the sense of greater rationality. His plans had not foreseen this situation at all, despite the anticipated denunciation of the neo-Franco maneuver. The change caught them with the changed foot. The ultraleftism they professed was inane, isolated, overrun and ineffective. Above all, the schism between China and Albania in 1977 78 finally dismantled the little that remained of its ideological foundations. But the conclusions reached in that congress did not satisfy all the militants, not even all the leaders. A new dissidence will be emerging throughout the year 1980. There was growing discomfort, restlessness, discouragement. Many militants and cadres realized that with these modulations they would not be able to connect with the mentalities and aspirations of the popular masses. Five were the divergences - although the dissenters will complain that it was not possible to engage in a genuine discussion, because it was cut authoritatively. In 1980, after the constitutional plebiscite, it collapsed. It was clear that this policy of alliances no longer worked. The confluence between these two positions was given by the fact that, for practical purposes, it led to very similar conclusions, or perhaps the same. From one or the other of these two convergent positions, the claim of a dry Republic was criticized, without the qualification of "popular and federative". Which contributed to isolation and loss of party influence. The deficiencies, inadequacies and weaknesses of the party only came, in his opinion, from the inaction of the dissidents themselves and from having mitigated the denunciation of revisionist groups such as the MC. The crisis erupts in the plenary session of the central committee on Saturday, January 31, 1981, which continued throughout that weekend. The management presents a report denouncing a campaign of rumors of the dissidents. They are branded as "mancheviques sarnosos". Three weeks after that split takes place the failed military coup, being Valencia taken by the tanks. This event undoubtedly also influenced the evolution of that embryonic formation, which is immediately broken by internal dissensions. When the fall arrives that organization is disintegrating, which will not be a year old. Its protagonists evolve quickly to integrate immediately into the political class of the monarchy. No doubt they thought that, exhausted the revolutionary way, it was necessary to opt for possibilism. Comrade Helena Odena dies in November. On April 11, the head of the Albanian party, Enver Hoxha, had died at the age of 76. A month earlier, the Soviet general secretary, Constantino Chernenko, had expired. On March 11 General Secretary Miguel Gorbachof was appointed. Immediately he will begin the assault from within the already weakened Soviet system, culminating his work in about 350 weeks. Reunion The confluence between my itinerary and that of my ex-comrades now comes. I was not always faithful to my intention. It was an occasional interruption. I will do it later in Madrid, in the spring of 1996. All of them, naturally, signed in my own name, «Lorenzo Peña». A few days later, the destitute invited me to visit the headquarters of that party, on Libertad Street, to explain the reasons for the decision. The interview - held in a glacial climate - did not lead to any approach. I did not share that point of view; and I still do not share it. But here I am excusing my reasons for disagreement, so as not to break the thread of my narrative. Then, of course, nothing more. The last issue of Vanguardia Obrera, the 796, came out in 1992. The drafting committee of October rejected it.
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